


What if we're meant to be?

by wank



Category: Carry On Series - Rainbow Rowell, Simon Snow & Related Fandoms
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Blood Drinking, Blood and Violence, Boyfriends, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Getting Together, Happy Ending, M/M, Minor Violence, Romantic Soulmates, Soulmates, The Wavering Wood (Simon Snow), Vampire Simon, Vampires, minor mutual pining, no beta we die like men, throughout the years
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-15
Updated: 2020-07-15
Packaged: 2021-03-04 21:33:57
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,241
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25283194
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wank/pseuds/wank
Summary: Soulmate au: you get the injuries of your soulmate.Soulmates are easy to find, given they get the injuries their soulmates should have gotten. There's been tales of gallant warriors throwing down their weapons after stabbing an enemy just to start bleeding. It's in those final moments, the warriors understand, they know what it is to know tragedy.OrSimon and Baz are soulmates, that keep getting each other's injuries.
Relationships: Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch/Simon Snow
Comments: 2
Kudos: 106





	What if we're meant to be?

It was during The Great Northern War that Adella Pitts cast the soulmate spell. Her beloved Nathaniel was a soldier, and she fret and fret over his well being. If something happened to him during the war, what was to happen to her and the children? She cast protections and healing spells, and gave him charms but still, she worried. It was when he came home bearing the burn of a musket ball that grazed his ear, did she spell his injuries to her own self. Her love magnified the spell and soulmates everywhere received each other's injuries. Adella was merely the first. Nathaniel returned to the front and, from that day forward no harm came his way, except for the occasional pricks of a sewing needle crossing into his finger, or a burnt hand at supper time. Adella took another musket ball, this time to the leg, and she persevered like no other. When her wound began to fester and grow warm, she accepted her fever, and was glad her sacrifice allowed Nathaniel safety in the war, and one day he would return home, unharmed.

**Baz**

As a chubby faced toddler, his golden skin was marred by the clumsy bruises of a toddler learning to walk. Baz found it normal for phantom bruises to appear, seemingly out of nowhere, and his Mom said 'Tyrannus, you mustn't worry, it's not the wraiths, it means someone out there loves you.' Baz understood soulmates, he watched his Mom read book after book, newspaper and article back to back, and he watched his Dad suck at paper cuts on his fingers from across the room. Baz remembers when his Dad took a topple off of a stallion, the ugly yellows and greens that marred his Mother's back. Baz understood the pitfalls of having a teetering, clumsy soulmate. Growing up, Baz always had a swollen finger, or stubbed toe, or delicate bruises blooming all over his legs.

Things changed for Baz when he was 5. He watched his nursery be pillaged by fast moving ghouls, he watched his Mother light herself on fire with the remaining vampires. He remembers being hoisted up and having teeth sink into his neck, he remembers being dropped onto the hardwood floor, he remembers waking up in his room at the Manor with Aunt Fiona keeping a bedside watch. In a flash, his mother is gone, and his dad lost his smile, and everyone cries over Baz. They know what happened, they fear the worst. Fiona doesn't have an extensive knowledge of vampires, but the little she does know leaves a bitter taste in the back of her throat. When Baz wakes up the next day, completely unharmed, except his tears, she can't help but be relieved. Her nephew is spared the curse of being undead, but that means he has a vampire soulmate out there somewhere, she wonders if Baz's soulmate survives the attack, she wonders what that means for Baz, but at least she doesn't have to worry about the coven coming for Baz.

**Simon**

Simon spends his tottering years, falling down all over Saint Philips Orphanage. Simon is exceptionally clumsy, but he can handle it. He wobbles and topples over, and bangs into doors or counters or walls, with nothing to show for it. He falls down and lands head first, one of the Sisters watching him thinks it should swell up to the size of a plum, but nothing happens and he says it doesn't hurt. 

Simon's favorite place to play is the woods behind the orphanage, there's sticks and trees and the other kids sometimes play with him, he likes to watch the wildlife too. Simon spends all of his free time out there in the trees, watching birds and squirrels and occasionally rabbits. Simon doesn't understand why one day his neck starts bleeding and stinging and why his butt hurts so much. He wanders up to a sister crying. He's not super verbal at the best of times, and especially under duress is he quiet. The sister assumes the poor boy got bit by a snake and takes him to the A&E. The doctors clean him up and shoot him full of meds, and when he sleeps for the next three days, the doctors assure the Sisters it's a normal response to snake venom.

A few days after his "snake" bite, he wakes up in the middle of the night, and his mouth feels full, and he feels hungry. Simon knows what it's like to wake up hungry, to not have enough food, and this one feels even worse. He can hear all the heartbeats of the boys sleeping around him and it does nothing but make him more nervous. He slips out of the room and into the nearby bathroom, just to wash his face and go back to bed. When he looks in the mirror, he sees long fangs poking out over his normal teeth. Cool. He goes back to sleep, ignoring the pangs in his stomach. It's the next day, when he's playing in the woods that he smells it. He catches the scent of something irresistible just a little further in the woods. He darts off after it, not expecting to startle a hawk away from a freshly killed rabbit. He walks to the rabbit, his new fangs coming back out. Simon's instincts take over as he carefully picks it up and sucks the remaining blood out of it. Simon feels better than he ever has. Simon needs more blood. He can hear a squirrel running around and in an instance he's on top of it, sinking his fangs in, and draining it. He might do it half a dozen more times before he feels content, and his fangs seem to vanish. One minute they're in his mouth, taking up all of the room, the next they're gone. He does his best to wipe the blood off his face before returning to the orphanage, normally he doesn't wander so far into the forest.

Simon doesn't talk about his new bloodlust. Every few days he gets the feeling and heads into the woods. He doesn't tell anyone, they either wouldn't believe him or he'd get in trouble.

Simon also doesn't need to sleep very much. Simon's full from food, and blood, he finds himself feeling rested and good on a few hours of sleep, he thinks he might not have ever felt this good.

**Baz**

Baz gets his first black eye on the morning of his seventh birthday. Malcolm looks expressionless as always, and Fiona casts healing spell after healing spell and it doesn't waver.

"Your soulmate's probably just clumsy, Basil." Fiona reassures. Baz nods, not feeling like talking, his eye throbs and it's hard to see out of it. He hopes his soulmate really is just clumsy, but the bruises that have started to ache along his chest and back want to tell a different story.

Baz is just short of another birthday when he breaks his pinky, he's practicing his violin, when he hears it crack and start throbbing. His knuckles turn purple with it, and he asks Daphne to take him to Dr. Wellbelove. He doesn't know how to behave around Daphne, she moved in quickly, and without question. Malcolm told Baz at the dinner table they were to be married and she would move in and that was that. So far, Daphne had been polite and kind, but there were tinges of awkwardness and sadness around the edges, she didn't know how to be a step-mom, and she was following in the legacy of Natasha Grimm-Pitch, and Baz was such a peculiar child. She did her best, but she wasn't trying to be a replacement. Baz got his hand wrapped up and Dr. Wellbelove said that soulmates are tricky business, but at least she was a fighter. Dr. Wellbelove was the first person to tell Baz that his soulmate would be a girl. His Mom and Aunt had been so careful to be gender neutral, and his Father had never spoken on it. It's not that Baz really cared, but with all his bruises, he hoped it was a boy who would fight back, but if it was a little girl somewhere getting bullied, well, that hurt Baz more than he thought it would.

By his tenth birthday, Baz had had his fingers broken three times, presumably from punching, a broken nose, presumably from getting punched, a cracked rib, presumably from being kicked, a sprained ankle, presumably from kicking, countless black eyes, and more bruises than not. Baz nearly constantly had bloody, sore and bruised knuckles. His violin playing had suffered for it. Baz hoped it was a fair trade for his soulmate turning into a vampire for him. Baz hoped his soulmate wouldn't be mad or feel ashamed over it. It was Baz's fault his soulmate got Turned, it was only fair for Baz to get all the other stuff. The week after his latest broken finger, paired with a broken nose, he didn't think that crook would ever go away, Baz decides to give his soulmate a taste of their own medicine. Baz is so sick of his soulmate getting into fights, Baz was tired of being sore, and achy, and looking so distasteful. Baz went to the woods behind his house and punched a tree, and punched and punched. He hoped he broke his soulmates hand and got it all splintery and bloody. Baz had taken his football practice up a notch, too. If his soulmate didn't care about his well being, he was gonna do the same. His tackles got vicious, he ran as fast as he could, until his lungs and legs burned, he scraped up his knees and Dev and him even took turns kicking each other with cleats on. It felt good for Baz to finally even some stuff out.

**Simon**

Things get progressively worse for Simon after the mystery snake bite. After his snake attack, he never quite regained his color, it's left him looking sickly. Shouldn't he have at least seen the snake? He gets moved out of the toddler section and moved into the school-age section, and he's easy pickings. He's the youngest, and he's quiet, and he got bit by a snake, and something about him just doesn't sit quite right with the boys. He's still allowed to play outside just not as much, now he has more chores to do. The boys like to pick on him, and after a couple of serious fights he learns to fight back. The boys get away with it, for all the punching and kicking and pushing, he doesn't bruise up. He's the perfect punching bag, because there's no evidence of what happens to him. One-to-one it's a fair fight, and Simon learnt to throw a punch and dodge when he can, but the boys prefer to gang up on him, so he doesn't stand a chance.

By the time he's nine, Simon is tired of always getting in fights, the kids pick on him because their punches and kicks don't show up. Simon punches and punches and holds his own, and knocks out teeth and draws blood, and doesn't stop until he gets pulled off, and it makes them want to hit him harder. Simon does kind of feel invincible though, he walks away from every battle no worse for wear. He never groans out in pain, like his bullies do, hours after. Simon feels like he can hit harder and faster than the other kids too. He can wrestle with boys years older and pin them to the ground. He can take a hit, and keep smiling. Simon's old enough to know he's not a superhero, but sometimes he feels like it. It's awful to be picked on and beat on nearly daily, but Simon thinks it could be a lot worse.

Simon scares himself when he breaks Roger's nose, he had been harassing Simon for 2 weeks now, and he finally hit him, and when Simon hits back, he feels his hand sting and bleed, even if the blood is a little too thick, and he feels the bone crush under the cartilage. The scary part is his knuckles keep bleeding, for long minutes, after the punch. Simon assumed he was untouchable, but here he is bleeding, getting sent to the nurse, and coming back with a broken ring finger and pinky.

Simon meets his newest foster father with a dark blue cast on his arm, it goes all the way up to his elbow. Simon settles into the worn seat of his Range Rover, with his duffel at his feet. Simon can still recall the Mage's first words.

"Hello Simon, they call me the Mage, and you're going to a Magickal school. My school, Watford Academy for Mages. This may be hard to believe, but magic is real, and you are magic." His scraggly moustache bounces as he talks, eyes sweeping out over the road ahead. Simon just nods. Simon can believe he's magic, other than these broken fingers he's hardly ever been hurt, and he can fight for days without ache or fatigue. It makes sense. The Mage prattles on about his magic school, and the magic destiny, and the magic war, and the magic world the whole car ride. Simon nods along and finds himself starry eyed and excited. Finally, a place where he's special, where he belongs.

**Baz**

The first day of Watford is supposed to be, well magickal. Daphne has spent the past few months telling tales of her school days, Baz doesn't need them, of course he's excited to go to Watford, his mother is the most important person in his life, and Watford was the most important to her. Fiona spends the ride to Watford talking about her roommate, the Crucible cast her a roommate, and she got a best friend. She's excited for Baz, he's a legacy.

Baz knows what the Mage looks like, he's met him before once or twice, and he's never been impressed. He's also not impressed by the scrawny kid following him like a lost puppy, this must be the Prophecy child, he's heard of him, some tramp out of a care home, with some ridiculous name, like Richie Rain or something equally atrocious. Baz is mildly curious about his supposed rival, but the boy just looks underwhelming, and sickly.

Baz is looking forward to the Crucible ceremony, he wants a brother, even if it is just in arms, he has a sister already, but she's not exciting. Baz needs a best friend, how nice of the Crucible to find one for him.

"My name's Simon Snow, pleasure to meet ya." Baz feels bitter resentment and disappointment as the Crucible draws him to the pale boy. Simon Snow looks like death warmed over, with a giant too-toothy grin juxtaposed on his face. Baz doesn't know what a slow death looks like, just one that happened all too fast, but he can imagine it in Simon Snow's too pale, too gaunt face, imagine how he's making up for his lack of vitality with his over exuberant handshake and smile and boisterous laugh. Although Baz isn't that lucky, his nemesis isn't dying a slow death, he just looks the part.

"Tyrannus Basilton Grimm-Pitch." Baz says cooly, like this whole thing is beneath him, that's Malcolm's influence. Baz may have the worst roommate, but at least he got the best room out of the deal.

**Simon**

The start of school goes by in a whirlwind. Not only is he the new kid, but he's the supposed saviour of the Magickal world, the whispers and stares die down slowly. Simon is excited, his roommate is a rude knob, but his best friend Penny makes up for it, and she makes up for it twice fold. Penny loves with the fierceness of 1000 suns, and her warmth makes up for Baz's ice. Simon's not sure why Baz acts the way he does, maybe it's because they had to shake left hands instead of right, or maybe it's the way Simon said his name. Baz is cruel, and for Simon to know that, it takes a lot. Baz always has a cutting remark or a witty one-liner that leaves Simon tongue-tied and embarrassed. Simon finally feels smug to Baz, when he shoulder checks him once and Simon doesn't even falter. Simon can still take a lashing, as long as it's physical, and he spoils for the day him and Baz come to blows.

Simon loves a lot of things about Watford, he loves the food, he loves magic, he loves Penny, and he loves the Wavering Wood. The woods themselves are alive with magic and magical creatures. They seem to stretch on forever, and the squirrels are plump and plentiful. The nymphs come out to visit once, and they seem mildly displeased at his activities.

Penny reads fiction and nonfiction books alike, by the dozens. She helps Simon with his spell work and with his vocabulary, and she encourages him to read books with her. The first book he's read of his own accord, at Penny's insistence, is Twilight. Baz makes fun of him for it, of course. Simon is a little embarrassed that it becomes his favourite book, but he finally has a name for his condition. It's reassuring to know he's not the only one like himself.

**Baz**

Baz chides himself for not putting it together earlier. It takes him four months to realize Simon is a vampire. It takes him four months to put it together, deathly complexion, he sneaks off in the evening, and the only book he's read is Twilight. Baz is meant to be top of his class, and it took him months to realize this thing about his roommate. It unnerves Baz to no end, to live with a vampire, but the Anathema protects him in the room, and no students have gone missing -yet. It unnerves Baz that his foil, the chosen one, the prophesied one, is undead. Baz doesn't tell anyone, surely the Mage already knows and is okay with it. Baz thought the Mage was awful before, and then to bring a vampire into Watford, that's practically treason.

Baz is relieved when his soulmate quits getting into fights since this school year started. Baz is glad to be able to wear anything he wants without fear of being covered in bruises, and he's glad he doesn't have to worry about black eyes. He has a reputation to maintain. Baz is glad he can play football, he almost thought his cracked ribs would never heal.

Baz watches Simon wearily, he is supposed to be the greatest mage, yet, he is terrible at spellwork, and enunciation, and general talking, and there's the whole undead problem of it as well. Simon tries to be friendly, but his magic does the talking for him. It rolls out in waves and suffocates and it makes people twitchy and irritable. Baz doesn't feel that way, not like the other students, the smokey scent of Simon's magic is kind of overwhelming, but it's kind of reassuring, comforting like an old blanket. Baz finds himself trying to stay up at night to watch Simon, but Simon always seems to stay up later.

**Simon**

In hindsight, someone should have told Simon about soulmates before his fifth year. Penny never brought them up because she assumed the Mage had told Simon about them. If not the Mage, he would've learned it in ethos class. Penny just thought he didn't want to talk about it. Penny and Simon are on the Great Lawn with a picnic lunch at the start of fifth year when her arm starts oozing blood in long lines. Simon freaks out, what kind of Humdrum attack is this? There's nothing, then her arm is slashed, of course somethings wrong. It takes Penny long minutes to explain that she thinks her soulmate got a cat this summer, it takes even longer for her to explain soulmates to Simon. That makes sense, to have Magickal soulmates on top of nymphs, merwolves, dragons, tooth fairies, pixies and other fantastical creatures Simon couldn't keep straight.

Simon follows Baz like a bloodhound, he's definitely evil, and he is probably plotting, what normal student spends so much time in the catacombs. He feels bad when he finds Baz’s mom's crypt, but the thought vanishes when he realizes the loads of rats crawling around in the dark tunnels. Simon has to wait for Baz to return to the room to hunt them though. Simon alternates his hunting between the woods and the catacombs, it's nice to be able to hunt when it's raining without getting soaked. Simon wonders if Baz knows who his soulmate is, he hopes it's not Agatha. Neither of them get noticeable injuries so it's possible. Simon wants to ask Baz, but Penny says it's uncalled for, even for them. Baz's fingers on his right hand are crooked in ways that suggest something happened, but whenever Simon mentions he makes a fist and sneers "Why don't you come here and find out, Snow!" Simon thinks he is bluffing, but he doesn't like to get hit so he doesn't find out.

**Baz**

Baz is pretty sure that Simon's his soulmate. He doesn't want to admit it, so he won't, but when Simon goes back to the care home for summer break, and Baz's fingers break again, he can just picture Simon knocking out some gobby Normal, with his short temper and off putting magic. Baz hopes it's just a coincidence or wishful thinking, technically everyone went somewhere over summer and anyone could get into a fight. Baz is glad a few weeks later when the bruises seem to stop rolling in over his back and sides and even a few on his face. He hopes the orphan kids finally realize what a force to be reckoned with, Snow is.

Baz has fleetingly thought of Snow as his soulmate, the cast first year, timed just a few weeks after Baz's temper tantrum. The vampireness, Baz has read the tribunal story of his Mother's last day over and over and isn't sure how he would have made it without getting attacked or bitten. Baz hates that on the first day of term every year his hand has been cut where his soulmate hasn't figured out the incantation to be let into their room. The smell of Snow's blood lingering in the air, doesn't make them soulmates, it makes Snow a lousy mage.

Things come to a head when the Mage sends Snow off on some ridiculous mission, and Baz finds himself with an ill-timed gash of claw marks across his chest. Baz is top-of-his-class smart, and it doesn't take a lot of figuring to realize when Simon went to fight a nest of griffins and he's the one bleeding for it.

It's confirmed in blood one evening when Simon comes rushing into their room, desperate for the loo. He catches the corner of the desk on his hip bone so hard the desk moves, sending pens and papers crashing to the floor. Baz watches from his bed, eyes peeking over the top of his Magickal History book. He feels it the second Simon folds over the table and rubs his side before finishing his depraved dash to the toilet. He pulls up his shirt and watches as a red mark with a small cut forms, he watches a few drops of blood rise to the surface of his skin, and he knows with 100% certainty, that he is royally fucked. Lucky he can staunch the blood and spell it clean before Snow can return to catch him in the act. Baz misses his plausible deniability.

**Simon**

Simon Snow is thick. Just about everyone would say that. Simon wonders if he has a soulmate. Baz loves to pick on him, vampires don't have soulmates. It irritates Simon to no end that Baz knows about his state, but at least he hasn't told anyone. Baz also tells him that Normals don't have soulmates, and since he came from Normals that's a double heaping of no soulmate.

Penny tells him to keep up hope, the bloody knees he gets after some football practices beg to differ, and he's so clumsy, but when he runs into tables and doorknobs and chairs, he never bruises up. That means he's got a soulmate somewhere with tiny bruises on their shins and hips.

For the first time, Simon and Baz come to blows, Baz just never really cared to fight. A good push from Simon was normally enough of a distraction for him to slip off instead of actually facing him. Simon could fight, but he didn't enjoy it, he did enough of that at the care homes. He was handy with his sword, but it wasn't fair to break it out on Baz, he was never a real threat. Normally if Simon cared enough to swing on Baz, Baz would cast a _stand your ground_ or _freeze_ or even a _can't touch this_ and saunter off. When Simon finally gets mad enough for a fight, and Baz figures maybe he can beat his feelings away, they tussle. Baz made some sneering remark about Agatha, and since they were on a break it hit a little too hard, Simon tackled Baz into the grass of the lawn and starts swinging. Baz manages to get out from underneath him and return fire, fist fighting feels pedantic, but Snow is a worthy adversary. Baz keeps his blows in inconspicuous places, it won't do to walk around with a black eye. Simon returns them just as fast as he can, but not too hard, he doesn't want to break anything with his vampire strength, he just wants Baz to suffer for being an intolerable git. Luck is on their side when it's only Penny who finds them, and casts _put your hands up_ to get them to stop.

Simon let's Penny lead him away and wipe the grass off him and out of his hair while Baz retreats to their room. Penny can see the blood on his knuckles, and the black eye forming, and wisely chooses not to comment on it. The chances of Simon's soulmate not being Baz, are pretty slim given the looks of a fresh fist fight forming on Simon's skin.

**Baz**

Getting into a scrap with Simon is stupid, and self destructive, he can feel the punches lingering on his stomach and ribs and one to the side of his head. At least he had enough sense to keep the future bruises out of sight, unlike Simon who walks in sporting a shiner. It feels fitting that Simon actually gave it to himself. Baz hopes Simon is still too thick to understand what it means, and he hopes Bunce hasn't revealed him. Baz watches Simon look at his face in the mirror, for long minutes after, tenderly touching it. Baz figures this must be his first black eye, since Baz got all of the ones he's been rightly owed before. Simon's light groans echo loud in the still room. In a moment of weakness Baz spells up a bag of ice for his eye, and sets it down on his bedside table.

"Ice will help with that."

"Uuhh thanks." Simon says watching Baz. Baz can practically watch the gears grind in his head as he lays down and sets the parcel of ice on his face.

"You've had a lot of black eyes?" Simon asks hesitantly. Baz cooly looks and prods at his swollen knuckles, at least, Simon hasn't broken them again, they throb as the adrenaline fades completely.

"Yeah." Baz crosses his feet at the ankles and feigns casualness on his bed.

"I've never gotten bruised in a fight before, must be your magic."

"Maybe your soulmate has impeccable timing." Baz tries to calm the erratic beating of his heart. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Baz doesn't need Simon to try and suss it out, he debates leaving but where will he go, and it would look like running away. Hopefully Snow will drop it. Baz picks up the book from his nightstand and tries to read, to stop having this conversation. Simon just hums in consideration. He never was good at words anyway.

"I'm off to dinner." Simon throws out as he gets up and leaves the room. He normally doesn't tell Baz where he's going. The door slams, just a little too hard before Baz can even respond. Not like he wanted to, he was reading The Picture of Dorian Gray, he was done with this conversation.

The next morning Simon wakes up first, he always does, and his obnoxious stomping around the room wakes Baz up, like it always does.

"Good morning. " Simon grins like it's normal to tell your enemy good morning, Simon hasn't tried to since the first day of first year. Baz doesn't snipe back something snarky, so Simon counts it as a win even though he got ignored.

It's four days of "Good morning, Baz." before he gets a response.

"Morning, Snow. " Simon could skip down the stairs with how elated he feels.

"Goodnight, Snow. " Baz says before rolling over that night. Two can play at this game, whatever it is.

"Night, Baz. " Simon falls asleep with a grin.

"Morning."

"Good morning. " And so begins a shaky friendship. Simon Penny's eyes keep flickering to my black eye, and I think she wants to say something about it, but in a very unPenny-like manner, she hasn't. I try to ignore it and continue with my breakfast.

"Out with it." I snap.

"Have you ever had a black eye before?"

"No. Why?" Penny takes a long sip of tea.

"Tell me again, how did you break your arm first year?"

"I-I punched this kid in the face, and my hand just broke. I dunno."

"And that's the first time you got hurt in one of your little scrapes?" I just nod, and look at her expectantly, I'm sure she has some brilliant point, I just wish she would get out with it.

"So you know how soulmates work, yes. It just seems that your fight timed up with your soulmate fighting as well."

"Pen, I know it's a soulmate thing, I know I'm not actually invincible." We're cut off by the bell ringing, to signify the start of the school day and Penny scurries off to deal with her dishes, leaving me alone in our conversation.

I'm not that thick, I'm nearly certain that Baz is my soulmate. My vampirism coincided with the infamous Watford attack, and last week when I tripped in the Wavering Wood and landed on some pointy rocks, Baz's hands were wrapped up when I got to our room. I've watched Baz struggle for the ball on the field and I've felt the cleat print sear into my ankle. I know he's my soulmate, I just don't know what to do. I just wish my eye would heal, I'm tired of getting stares in the hall. I figure Baz is top of our class, he's probably smart enough to know we're soulmates, and the scrap up wasn't anything except further confirmation. So if he knows, and doesn't want to be together, that's his right I guess, so who am I to force it. It sucks, but that's a fair judgement on his part. I can understand him not wanting a vampire, worthless mage like me, he's from the old families and they marry within their ranks, and I don't have a family, and we're on opposite sides of the war, and my magic is fucked up and we're enemies. Plus Baz is out of my league, he's stunning with his beautiful warm complexion and dark luxurious hair, his aristocratic nose and sharp jaw. Baz is fit, undoubtedly, and I'm too pale and too freckled up and my hair is a mess that never cooperates and he's so ethereal it's just not a fair comparison.

**Baz**

Since our incident a few days back, Snow has been eerily civil. I suppose the brute finally figured out I'm the superior adversary, that, or he knows we're soulmates. Either of those are realistic thoughts. Either way, this new tentative truce is sort of nice. He's kind, I knew that, everyone knew that, but having it on me, all to myself, for a moment is, delicious. A bittersweet cacophony of emotions, on one hand, it's not hard to stretch the thought of his regular 'good morning baz' to imagine him saying that from the same bed, on the other hand it's almost unnerving to go from so antagonistic to so normal. I'm walking a thin line of friendship, and my overbearing longing and desire keep threatening to rear their unwelcome heads. It's a fine balance we tiptoe, and it's so easy to take basic kindness for big gay yearning. As soulmates, we're supposedly drawn to one another, it's supposedly an innate part of our very being to come together. But I don't think Simon knows that. I also don't think he knows how I yearn for him, I can feel the desire pile up in the pit of my stomach at the worst of the times, and at the best of times all I can do is to hold back a wistful sigh.

When the weather's nice, in early fall, I like to wander the Wavering Woods, the nymphs tell interesting tales, when they're not flirting, and the air feels crisper under the tall sturdy oaks, and it reminds me of the forest near the manor. It's on one of these walks, where I catch him. I'm haplessly strolling along, guided only by the sound of a calm creek and one minute I look up, and he's there.

Simon Snow.

Simon Snow holding a large raccoon and sucking it's blood.

I can't think. I don't know what to say. I can't move.

I knew he was a vampire, of course I did, but this, to see it in person.

I'm not sure who's gasp is louder. I stand frozen. His eyes are as wide as saucers and there's blood dripping off his lips.

He opens his mouth a few times, gaping, exposing blood and long fangs alike. I gape with him, what am I to say or do?

Simon Snow's a vampire, and I've caught him red handed, literally, there's blood on his hands.

"Baz." He drops his raccoon, lamely, and wipes the blood on the back of his trousers.

"Baz, yuh- you caught me."

"Yeah."

"Well I'm a vampire, it's true."

"I know." Simon runs his hand through his hair, I'm glad he's not called on that sword of his.

"I'm sorry."

"No, Baz, it-it you, you were gonna find out sooner or later. I'm sorry."

"No, don't apologize, I'm sorry-"

"Baz-"

"No, I am sorry, this is all my fault, I shouldn't have come out here, and … and it's my fault that you're a vampire." I find myself trying to smooth my hair too.

"Baz, what are you trying to say?" Somehow he's bridged the distance between us, he's barely an arm length away, I can see his fangs have vanished. I swallow nervously.

"S-Snow, I uh, I know, uh." I feel like Snow stumbling over my own tongue, my face feels too hot.

"That we're soulmates, and it's my fault that you have your vampirism, it should've been mine, and I'm sorry."

"Baz, I, you know we're soulmates. " I nod weakly.

"And?" His eyebrow raises slightly.

"And what?"

"And, well, uuh, what do you think of it?" He finishes the statement by worrying his bottom lip.

"I suppose you think we should be together then." I say it cooly, but the sweat prickling at the back of my hairline threatens to give me away.

"I just- I get it, I wouldn't want to be soulmates with a vampire either, it's uh, totally fine if you uh-"

"Stop, this is pitiful to watch." He keeps blubbering, this time with no words. It's now or never.

"Simon, I know we're soulmates, that's never gonna change, but, I do like you, and I like you very much, in fact, I think I would have a crush on you soulmates notwithstanding." I take a deep breath and swallow the lump in my throat.

"You are radiant and magnificent, Simon, I'm truly sorry for my behavior before, I've really appreciated your companionship this week, your condition is irrelevant, and uh, I would like to uh." I'm interrupted by his fingers gingerly brushing against my face.

"Can I kiss you?" Simon asks, but he's already leaning in.

"Maybe brush your teeth first." I say with a grimace, placing my hand on his chest. The blood is still smeared around his mouth. I can feel him chuckle before I hear it.

"Can I be your boyfriend then?" I nod before wrapping my arms around him and bringing him to my chest, it's a hesitant second before his arms encircle me. My lips land near his hairline, the smell of blood overwhelms me, but I don't let go. It feels like coming home, and the tear that leaks from my eye is overshadowed by the sobs that start to wreck his body. Maybe he feels like it's coming home, too.


End file.
